i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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