WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
