So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
