found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
