I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
