how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
