I'm so fucking centered right now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
