i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
