I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
