white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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