Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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