maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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