My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
