they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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