dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
