There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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