Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
