Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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