Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
