it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
