i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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