i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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