Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't turn off my feet"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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