Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
