this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
