So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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