so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
