i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
