the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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