yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
