If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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