remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
