Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
