some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
