i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
