ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
