she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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