I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
