i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
