woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
