He told me they were just razor bumps!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
