Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
