she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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