I'm drive I can fine osifer
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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