You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
