OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
