i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
