I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
