Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
