i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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