why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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